


All That's Left of Yesterday

by 90tonothing



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 15:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4065220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/90tonothing/pseuds/90tonothing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla is convinced she's in a dream, but things are not always as they seem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That's Left of Yesterday

This is all a dream. I have to keep telling myself that because I am having a hard time believing it. I'm holding this beautiful woman here in my arms. Laura. My Laura. She's so peaceful when she sleeps. The heavens couldn't conceive of a peace as beautiful as her face when she's dreaming. I could stay like this forever. Holding her. Running my fingers through her long, blonde locks. I don't think she ever really realized how incredibly beautiful she really was. It wasn't just those big brown eyes or that smile that somehow managed to light up my whole world. Who she was is more dazzling than any god could ever dream up. Yeah, she's a pretty big nerd. That Lois Lane gig of hers would always cause a bit of trouble. She always managed to find her way out of those problems. I underestimated her intelligence at times. She could see things that even my 300 plus years of life couldn't afford me. Ever the optimist. She was my light in my dark hours, especially here recently. With my past coming back to haunt me, Ell, my mother, all things brought to light. She never left my side, as upsetting as some of the things she learned were sure to have made her. My ever loyal companion. I don't think she knew how much that has meant to me. How much that will always mean to me. _I'll tell her_ I think  _when she wakes up, I'll tell her._

"Carmilla?"

I look up, squinting through my blurry vision. Am I... am I crying?

"Carmilla..."

My eyes clear a bit. It's Perry and LaFontaine kneeling down next to Laura and I. LaF reaches out to touch my sleeping beauty and I look up at them, not wanting to have confirmed what I already know.

"She's not breathing."

Suddenly I know I'm not dreaming. I pull my limp and lifeless lover further into my arms. There's blood caked in her hair near her temple. Debris from the explosion had been the cause of this and the only reason this happened is because of her stupid inclination to protect _me._ The immortal vampire. I can only assume that the last time we faced this same enemy and I fell into the pit had stuck with her. And if this feeling I have in the pit of my stomach now is what she felt then, I can understand why she would want to prevent that from happening again. It's in that moment I make a decision, one that I hope she will forgive me for later. What I'm about to do will be the most selfish thing I have done in my existence, but I cannot live without the only bright spot in my life.

"No. She isn't. But..."

I bring my wrist up to my mouth, allowing my fangs to descend. I look at LaF and Perry. They each give me a knowing look and nod, neither one willing to argue with me over what I'm about to do before getting up to leave me alone with Laura. I don't think either one of them really want to let go of Laura yet either, but not nearly to the extent that I don't. I rip a hole into my vein and tilt Laura's chin so my blood can run into her mouth. The process isn't a long one, but it is and intense and painful one. Every single cell of the body has to warp and it does it quickly. Once I know Laura has had enough of my blood, I tear a piece of cloth from my band tee and wrap it around my wrist. And the the wait. I can tell the process is working because blue lips are fading to pink again, but I know the pain she is in on the inside. I do the only thing I know to do and that is pull her to my chest and sing. I sing the song I would always sing to her when she slept because, honestly, it was the truth.

_You are my sunshine_   
_My only sunshine_   
_You make me happy_   
_When skies are grey_

I move my lips closer to her ear for the last part of the song, pouring every bit of emotion I have left into those words.

_You'll never know dear,_   
_How much I love you_   
_Please don't take  
My sunshine away_

And with that I break down sobbing as I rocked Laura in my arms. All that's left of my yesterday is fading. Laura will still be here, sure. Being an immortal, a vampire, changes a lot. Not always, but typically a person is never really the same. I couldn't live without her though and only hoped she would forgive my incredible selfishness. It was as I was wallowing in self doubt and regret that I felt a hand grasp my own. I look down to see brown eyes, irises now edged in red, looking back at me. Only a few words pour out of my mouth as I begin to sob even harder.

"I'm so sorry, Laura. I'm so, so sorry."

I repeat it like a prayer to her, that maybe it will earn her forgiveness. I doubt it, but I only have hope anymore, which is strange considering I had none before she came waltzing into my life. To my surprise, she reached up to cup my cheek, shushing me.

"Shh, Carm. No, it's okay. You don't need to apologize."

I took a few deep breaths as she sat up in my arms, facing me. She took my face in both of her hands, tracing her thumbs across my cheeks to catch any stray tears, forcing me to look at her.

"I know what you did, and it's okay. Were the situation reversed, I would have done the same. I remember what it was like losing you and I would have moved heaven and earth to bring you back. I'm glad fate brought you back to me then and this is what fate has dealt me now. So it's okay, I promise. Though side note, this thirst really burns so I should probably take care of that asap."

She manages to get a small smile out of me as she leans in to kiss my cheek.

"I'm still here, Carmilla. I'm still here."

And that's all that matters.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "Hello" by Evanescence. "You are My Sunshine" kinda came about on it's own, but it made sense. I hope I didn't damage your feels too much.


End file.
